Thoughts from Deik and Kims Wedding, for You and Your Marriage
Deik and Kim, remember that marriage is a COVENANT relationship. It is not merely a contract of convenience, nor a promise to live together as long as each still feels good about the other. It is a COVENANT to love and care for each other until parted by death, or until the coming of our Lord.
Throughout history, covenants have been made between Nations, between Kings and their subjects, between individuals (as in marriage), and even between God and Man. When such a covenant was established, there were rights and duties on both sides, and the covenants were sealed by gifts, by a kiss, by a handshake, or by the sharing of a common meal.
Today, as DEIK and KIM make their COVENANT of marriage to each other, you will see and enjoy these elements:
· they will hold each other's hands,
· they will give each other their gifts of rings,
· they will kiss to seal the covenant,
· and they will invite you to share a meal together with them at the reception.
All because their Marriage is a covenant relationship of love and faith.
To put this in context, back in Genesis, after the Fall of Mankind, when God was declaring His judgments, and passing out the consequences for the deception and the sin, He pointed out that one of the consequences of a fallen human nature would be that husbands and wives would have conflict in their marriage relationships, as wife would seek to take over the husband's leadership position, and the husband would respond to the challenge forcefully.
God pointed out to Eve, with Adam right there listening, that, "Your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you."
Now our first thought might be that God is telling Eve that she will have a pure love and desire for her husband, but that he will be some cave man and just want to be the boss, ruling over his wife. But that is not the sense of what God is saying. God uses the exact same phrase, the same words, when he is speaking to Cain in Genesis Chapter Four and warns him that, "Sin is crouching at your door, and seeks to devour you, but you must master it."
What God is saying to Eve is that she will seek to conquer her husband, but that he will respond by mastering, or ruling over her. As a consequence for their sin, they will not have the loving marriage relationship that God had originally intended for them to enjoy.
Now, fast forward several thousand years, and God gives us the remedy for this problem in marriage. In Ephesians chapters Four and Five, St. Paul gives us great instruction on how we should live in society as Christians, what our attitudes and behaviors should be, how we should treat each other.
He begins this section with these words, "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling that you have received. Be 100% humble, and gentle. Be patient with each other and make allowances for each other's faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace."
He continues with other powerful, life-changing instructions. And then comes to the place of addressing this specific problem with marriages that we just talked about. God's remedy for the problem caused by Eve's self-centeredness, that the wife would "desire to conquer" her husband, is this?
Paul writes?
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Submission is God's remedy for a heart that seeks to be in charge and be in control.
Then, Paul addresses the husband's response of wanting to forcefully rule over his wife. God's remedy for this is?
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and willingly suffered and died for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
His summary is?
"? each one of you husbands must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Paul is telling husbands that they are not to rule over their wives, but rather that a husband is to love his bride in the same way that Christ loves His Bride, the Church. And that each husband is to be preparing his bride for eternity in Heaven.
So Kim, I challenge you to not allow your "inner Eve" to try to conquer Deik, but instead willingly submit to him, in the same way that Christ submitted to the Father, and work with him as the partner and lover that God always intended a bride to be for her husband.
And Deik, I challenge you to love Kim with the same intensity of self-sacrificing love that Christ has for his bride, the Church - never seeking to dominate her, but rather always working to prepare Kim for eternity.
And I challenge you both as a couple, to use your marriage to bless others, and to proclaim to others that "God is Love."
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
MORE RESOURCES:
Cameroon: STV's Consty Ties Nuptial Knot AllAfrica.com, Washington - The year 2008 would have rounded off without any major romantic event until STV's rising star, Constantain Mbom took the stage with Mercy Ngahene Assama in ... |
 Las Vegas Weekly | Morning Call Exclusive Interview: Fergie talks about music ... Las Vegas Weekly, NV - By Robin Leach There’s no question that pop superstar Fergie is “over the moon” happy in love with actor Josh Duhamel. There’s no doubt the handsome, ... |
 Examiner.com | Same-Sex Marriage: Wedding Priestess Believes. But Washington Post ... Examiner.com - by Ann Keeler Evans, Philadelphia Marriage Examiner "Oh," says WP, pulling her hair. Reading the Washington Post today, I came across an editorial proposing ... |
The Year In Celebdom: From Beyonce To Tina 'Sarah Palin' Fey Hartford Courant, United States - By Tirdad Derakhshani The Philadelphia Inquirer/MCT The year fades away (last ember in fireplace, puff of smoke), but, like an itch at the back of the ... |
 Xinhua | Lopez, Anthony marriage said to be at 'breaking point' Newsday, NY - BY ROBERT KAHN | robert.kahn@newsday.com Singers Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony arrive at the 79th Academy Awards in Hollywood, California, ... J-Lo's marriage 'on the rocks' Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony’s marriage in trouble? Jennifer Lopez marriage on the rocks? |
Gay couple fighting to save dream Santa Rosa Press Democrat, CA - By ALEXANDRA ZAVIS Fearing taunts and disapproval, they kept their love hidden for nearly two years. But with the Nov. 4 election looming, Christopher Lewis ... |
Gay marriage backers to protest Crist’s wedding Washington Blade, DC - FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — When Gov. Charlie Crist legally weds his longtime girlfriend Carole Rome today, St. Petersburg’s First United Methodist Church will ... |
69 Years and counting Pope County Tribute, MN - By Chad Koenen From one of the first times they met in high school, Richard Beveridge knew there was something special about a beautiful freshman girl in ... |
Marriage began in austerity but their love has stayed true Portsmouth News, UK - By Sion Donovan Fred and Barbara Holmes might have had a small wedding, but their love is as big as ever after 60 years of marriage. ... |
Proud to be from Massachusetts Bay Windows, MA - by Melody Howard Ritt More than 20 years of married life in a small town south of Boston did nothing to prepare my husband, Jay, and me for the reality of ... |
|
Shop Online for Champaign, Wines, Glasses, Chillers and all you need for your wedding |
||
|
|
10 Ideas for Perfect Wedding Gifts
Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of. Marriages are made in heaven, it is said.
Belize Honeymoon Resorts
The enchanting Belize honeymoon resorts captivate every visitor through the appealing secluded jungle atmosphere as well as the beautiful hideaway crystal-clear beaches. One of these resorts would be the Turtle Inn Resort Located in Placencia in Belize, which promises a stay within the natural wonders of the tropical coast.
Planning A Wedding? Tips On How To Attend A Bridal Show
If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great place to get started. Since 1996, I have attended or participated in over 150 Bridal Shows, and I thought I would pass on some tips to you, to make your trip a little easier.
A Wedding Shower Checklist
Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are great fun. They are known as parties with a purpose.
Trust in Marriage
A couple should trust each other in many ways. When they meet new people they are expected to be trusted not to wonder from a marriage.
Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
Hearing that your cheating spouse is "in love" with someone else is devastating. I hear often, "I can handle her having sex with someone else.
Wedding Anniversary Symbols
Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as 25th and 40th are linked to precious stones, in these cases silver and ruby. However, it is less well known that all anniversaries up to and including the 15th, and then every 5th anniversary, have their own particular symbol.
How to Find, Select, and Afford a Wedding Photographer
You are engaged and one of the most important days in your life is fast approaching. Your wedding day will be filled with happiness and emotion.
Fifteen Fabulous Favors
The possibilities are endless when it comes to creating (or choosing) wedding favors. Take a look at the list below for fifteen fabulous ideas.
Secrets of a Happy Marriage
My husband and I have a perfect marriage.There.
Wedding Centerpiece Ideas
Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to be special and they want every aspect of their day to be just so. When it comes right down to it just how important are your wedding centerpiece ideas?Think about this, how many times have you noticed a centerpiece? Has it been to say "what a fantastic display" or "how unusual" or has it been to comment on what a poor arrangement as you move it out of your way? Personally I have done all three but the last one happens the most.
Wedding Planning: Prioritize to Stay Within Your Wedding Budget
So you're planning your wedding and a thousand decisions must be made! It can be an exciting, but tiring experience to pull off the wedding of your dreams, especially within your budget.The best way to evaluate how and where to allocate your wedding budget is to determine exactly what your priorities are.
Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive - Part I
With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result of these economic conditions, more and more people are opting to start their own business. Due to the low start up costs, the prevalence of home-based businesses is on the rise, many of these started by husband and wife teams.
Wedding Planning: Clear Communication with Your Wedding Guests
Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential in the months leading up to your wedding. But in this stressful time, how can you maintain healthy relationships with your family and friends when you're flooded with questions and feeling in over your head?You know your wedding guests ask for details because they care about you.
Choosing The Right Music For Your Wedding
OverviewI suppose a typical Christian wedding in the UK can be divided into 4 main sections and these are:The ceremonyPre-meal drinksWedding breakfastEvening receptionI suppose about half of the weddings I come across have the ceremony in a church so this means that if they do require me to provide live music; it will be during the drinks before the meal and the wedding breakfast. Everyone's requirements are different so don't be afraid to discuss any special requirements with whoever your hiring.
Weddings - Wedding Plan - Wedding Planner Tools - Ten Essential Tips
Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the most important day in your life. Your wedding day.
It's Never Too Early to Renew Your Wedding Vows
When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows, chances are you're not picturing anyone under the age of 50. But the truth is that it's never too early to renew your vows - especially if you didn't get to do exactly what you wanted the first time around.
Marriage Counseling: How to Reduce Hurt Feelings When You and Your Spouse Disagree
One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred "kill your opponent" verbal altercation can last for decades.
How to Recognize and Cope with an Emotional Affair
Did you know that an emotional affair can be just as dangerous to a marriage as a physical affair, and sometimes more so? And that spouses who never had any intention of cheating can unwittingly become enmeshed in an emotional affair?Many spouses will shrug off questions about an emotional affair with the reply that "It's harmless" or "We're just friends." They fail to see the damage that the emotional closeness with someone outside of the marriage is doing to the primary relationship.
Getting Married? What You Should Do With Your Checking Accounts and Credit Cards
Marriage is a wonderful thing, but planning the wedding is a difficult task. The coming together leaves many things as an afterthought to the wedding.
